Today, I’m defining who I want to be when my journey starts this Monday—a lean, healthy, energetic version of me, buzzing with motivation and excited about both the moment and the future. I picture myself standing tall, maybe on a fitness competition stage, or just playing with my kids at the park, full of life with no need for a vape or a drink to feel good. When I look at my hands, my nails are tidy, smooth, and strong—not bitten, rugged, or ragged like they are now.

I vape in secret, and only my wife and closest friends know about my drinking and other habits. Growing up, I saw my parents drink and smoke, and I don’t want my kids to adopt those unhealthy behaviours I’ve picked up. My best self lives openly, not hiding anything from my family. More than anything, I want to feel peace. I want to sit in my free time and enjoy it—no urge to escape, no pull toward unhealthy habits. I’ll no longer be anxious about my health’s future, knowing I’m doing all the good things—exercising, meditating, living clean—to give myself a full, healthy life for my family and everyone around me.

I know curveballs like social situations will come, and I might enjoy a few drinks with friends or get carried away, but I want to rebound quickly, not yo-yo or spiral like before. No matter life’s stresses or slips into mild or severe depression, I want to climb out healthily, using tools like CBT, which I’m finding helpful, unlike self-help books that haven’t stuck long-term.

I’m anonymous now because I’m ashamed of my habits, but this blog lets me share my journey honestly. In 12 months, if I achieve my goals, I’ll proudly reveal my story to show how far I’ve come, hoping to inspire others to start their own journey.

This isn’t just a 12-month contract—it’s intense effort to kickstart a lifelong healthy way of living. This blog shares that journey anonymously, to inspire anyone chasing their best self.

What’s yours look like?